Mar 31, 2006

making tough decisions

Current mood: tired

i worked almost 15 hours last night. needless to say, i am very tired but i guess the adrenaline rush is still in my system. here i am, typing, trying to see if i can relax a bit before i lay my poor body in bed for a good nap before my next shift tonight.

ive got several decisions to make regarding work. i cannot wait for mike to make a decision on where to work or what eh really wanted to do. i am about to have an interview with UCSF medical center in san francisco this may. i am a bit hesitant because the interviewee is the manager for intensive cadiac care unit. not that i dont want to work there but my preference for emergency room training still prevails. i am hoping that they will call me before i make my decision to fly out to san frnacisco. i wanted to get interviewed by the ER manger and CCU manager at the same time. i am also thinking if i should also send some resume in new york. columbia hospital, mt. sinai, or new york presbyterian are good choices but they "kill" their nurses in new york. darn it. i dont know. california seems to be a good choice. ive got friends there but not that much. i dont know...decisions..decisions...

i need to get myself settled somewhere for a year so i can get proper training in critical care and maybe get some classes to get my masters degree. i am still thinking of becoming a nurse prctitioner or nurse anaesthesist. i wanted to have a house but i also wanted to travel the world...i hate thinking about the future especially i am quite aware that everyday might be my last day and i dont want to spend it ogling for a future that may not come...

for some stupid reason, i have this feeling that i am going to die young although i would be very appreciative if i dont because i want to experience the world and i wanted to see my son, i wanted to be able to say someday that i have accomplished what i want in life. i wanted to be able to spend the rest of my days with somebody that i love and trust. i wonder what lies ahead of me...

carpe diem...

Currently listening:
A Thousand Miles
By Vanessa Carlton

Posted by nixinne :: 3:26 PM :: 0 Comments:

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