Apr 25, 2006

the secret garden

ok, ok its probably not a secret at all but it creates a mystery on my title right? thats what i did all day today. plant those beautiful spring and summer flowers with some hostas and herb plants.

my herb garden consists of a rosemary, lavender, mint and basil. they all smells really good but they are still a small bunch beside the waterfall. the big space infront of the waterfall consists of some crawling bushes. i did add some annuals in there so it wont grow bigger than the waterfalls itself and i planted the lilies on either side of it ot make a nice entry look.

ill add some pictures when i get the time...

Posted by nixinne :: 3:33 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 20, 2006

tondo girl

Current mood: sleepy

539 P. Herrera St. Tondo, Manila

yep, i am a certified tondo girl...beware or "lalagyan kita ng butas sa tagiliran"

as i recall, that was my address since i dont know when till i was about 12 years old. after being in touch with edna gonzales ( her married name as i dont remember her maiden name ), my childhood barkada, i recollected memories of my childhood life playing on the streets of bilbao, p. herrera and carmen planas.

i remember marie jane simangan (jane) , maria lourdes (malou), carlota (liit), edna gonzales (edna), tina (tina), ervin gonzales (ervin), michael calimag (michael), jason go (jason), gilbert chan (gilbert), levi (levi), janet (janet), and gemmalyn (gigi).

there are many others that edna was telling me about but i wasnt as close as these people in the list.

jane has the most beautiful exotic eyes as far as i can remember. she has this gorgeous curly hair and olive skin. but even with all these characteristics, she acts tomboyish and usualy acts like one of the boys. if i remember correctly, as told by friends to me before, she got interested and tried acting like a girl when gilbert took interest on her. edna jokingly told me on our recent conversations that it was partly my fault why jane got stuck on becoming a full pledged lesbian. then i remembered that gilbert was one of my childhood crushes only because he sent me a note that he like me! later on, he told me that he got turned off by jane's behaviour (or was that malou who told me that?). kids were kids, and soon we all started to hang out again as if nothing has changed.

malou was our chubby girl with a cute chubby face when we were kids. she can get too loud at times too. although shes overweight as a kid, she was a good football player with a very good kick. i remember her being very talkative and happy all the time altough there are times that we talk about my mean sister that makes her feel more poor than she ever was.

liit was a small kid with a cute smile whenever she actually flashes it. i am not sure if she was the one who concocted our secret language before. able baker cheers dear ever forever gracious humble iten joker king liberty moment never over peter queen remember sweet true under v walker xray yankee zebra. ooops, i guess the language isnt a secret anymore...

more to come...

Posted by nixinne :: 5:52 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 18, 2006

tick..tock...tick...tock...

gosh...its april 18...

less than one month and ill be kissing the philippine soil. ill be able to hug my son and my dad. ill be able to see old friends. ill be able to eat authentic filipino food. ill be able to walk on the dirty streets of manila. ill be able to swim on the ocean without freezing. ill be able to talk in my own language all the time. ill be able to see the beautiful sceneries. ill be able to smell smokey mountain. ill be able to joke around with my family. ill be able to eat balut, isaw, taho and lugaw. ill be able to play with the kids. ill be able to dance and act like a nutso anytime without thinking if i am bothering the neighbors. ill be able to sleep on the floor or rather not sleep at all coz its too freakin hot there. ill be able to shower 3 times a day since its going to be humid all the time. ill be able to see all the smiling faces of everybody i love and hate.

i cannot wait. im so excited. i cant even sleep at night although i really dont sleep at night since i work night shifts. i cant think of anything else but the slow ticking of the clock. tick tock tick tock....damn! is it may 14 yet????

i watched fun with dicka nd jane last night and it wasnt as fun as i thought it would be. i had a a few laughs but eh...just a few...

Posted by nixinne :: 7:06 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 15, 2006

getting used to knoxville

Current mood: awake

i have always been looking forward to working in another place after knoxville. i always said in the past that i am bored and that there is nothing in here and that people are dumb, etc. but the truth of the matter is that i am just not used to this new surroundings.

this isnt a big city that i am used to but it has its own beauty and positive attributes. market square has been very good for hanging out on beautiful days since the bars and restaurants offer and open area where people can eat and enjoy the outdoor weather. old city and the college strip offers variety in music and fun. comedy shows, music jams, celebrity bartenders, outdoor movies, (almost) broadway shows, greenways, trails, cheesy vacation houses, beer festivals, wine festivals, camping sites, and other activities that i have not explored yet are available to enjoy. although they are small town activities with small town participants, it can be fun in a way.

its scary to admit that i am getting accustomed to being here in knoxville. i guess it just grows on you when you stay on one place too long. my co-workers are awesome and fun. even my patients are very appreciative with all our hardwork. i got a good group of friends to go out with, a backyard with a nice view and most of all, ive got here friends that call themselves my family.

but, as free-spirited as i am, i cannot let this ruin my chances to explore what it is outside knoxville. although i am beginning to get accustomed to all the things that is fun here in knoxville, i still have other things to do and accomplish.

i will always come back and experience knoxville fun with all the friends that i made here...memories will be saved in my databank and will be reminisced when i am long gone from this area that became my home for the last 9 months

Posted by nixinne :: 12:54 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 13, 2006

family matters...and its pissing me off

Current mood: aggravated

i talked to my dad for the first time again in six months. i may have been avoiding the inevitable so i could get away from all the bad news that i would hear esoecially that i cannot do anything about it. i guess i was afraid of the responsibilities that accompanies the conversation.

but, i need to hear it and i need to do something about it. financially, i may lack the ability to give them assistance at the moment but the emotional support that i can give my dad so he can live peacefully rather than disturbingly because of my greedy half sister may at least ease the burden of his mind.

i hate to hear my dad cry and tell me that all his other children abandoned him and i was the only one he can turn to. he wasnt asking for financial support although that is what he needed the most at this time so he can keep taking his medications. the high life that he was used to was taken from him by stroke, a deadly disease that almost took his life away but is now eating his very existence slowly. an independent person such as him made it harder to accept the fact that he is now mostly dependent on others with a lot of things. his mighty personality was being humbled by weakness and inability to care fro himself. he had a temper that nobody can get through but me but since i am not there to neutralize his temperment, he became grumpier and meaner and to top it all, the disease makes him more vulnerable to his temper attacks. he may not have been the best father but i know for sure that he provided them well enough so they can be where they are right now.

i dont understand why his other children will do such a thing to him. take his money and leave him to poverty. i wish i could do something to get back at them. or to at least give my dad what he owns and not what he deserves. he has been a very good dad to me. he mght have few shortcomings as a father but he still is my father. when i get back to the philippines, i will make sure that i try and take care of him even for a short amount of time that i will be there then ill try to help him as much as i can while i am here in the USA.

Posted by nixinne :: 3:43 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 12, 2006

i may have been wrong

Current mood: happy

i hate to admit that i was wrong about being in a bad mood the other day. it may have been just because i was tired from work and needing attention or i just didnt wait enough for the day to progress before i started making wrong judgements.

men can be surprising at times. their minds are like a box of chocolates, you never know what youre gonna get.

and they can be as sweet as chocolates too. i have to redeem myself from being a complete bitch, but i cannot cause i was proved wrong.

i had to work on the 10th but i got to do treasure hunting. mike apparently arranged a treasure hunt for me by using a lot of details of our first night together.

1. he made me read our first online conversation that he saved on his computer at the time we actually spoke to each other on our first date and i found out that there are some hidden clues there to were i should find the next clue.

2. i found the next clue telling me to call my voicemail ont he exact time i called him from my cellphone (attached with the clue was the log of my first phone call from his phone bill)

3. voicemail told me to search for a paper on samantha. i found it behind the drivers seat. the picture contains the pcture of new york grand central station where we first met but with another clue hidden on it. the clue was the dodge logo cleverly hidden on the picture which is the make of his van,

4. so i searched the van a found 2 maps. the first map reveals the route we took to go to the restaurant where we ate on our first date in soho. the second one revealed the exact same route but in knoxville.

5. amazingly enough, the name of the first restaurant we went to was the same as the one here in knoxville. isnt that amazing?

6. and last but not the least, his apartment in new york has a view of midtown manhattan and he made sure that i saw the same perspective here in knoxville. he does not have an apartment in downtown knoxville but he rented one of the rooms at the top floor of hilton so i can see the same view in manhattan minus the towering buildings.

needless to say, i was speechless. i was just too grateful and ashamed for my previous behavior all at the same time. i shouldnt have doubted him. and i deeply apologized for what i have said and doen the previous day.

thanks mike for the most wonderful evening i ever had. it was very memorable and touching. i love you more than ever and i promise not to doubt you again...

Posted by nixinne :: 12:18 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 10, 2006

a broader look of the situation

Current mood: contemplative

after several failed relationships, i learned to prioritize my own well being before i think of somebody else's wanta and needs. it helped me become an independent person. a person that can stand up on her own and is mature enough to analyze things and situations that comes in my way.

love is a broad term for an emotion felt for another person. it depends on a lot of variables in life. its not just physical attraction or amazing sex. it is neither the compatibilities or similarities in tradition and culture. love is never selfish nor impatient. love likes to give and not to take, love is an overwhelming feeling of wanting to be with someone.

in short, love is very degrading. i guess that is the reason why proud people never get to see the happily ever after. they mostly say, i was happy with that relationship until the end of it or i am happy being by myself.

its not wrong to be independent and its definitely not wrong to be in love. having both is great but as like any other situation in life that involves interaction to fellow humans, compromises are to be made to ensure a healthy relationship.

i have loved and lost but now i am in love again. as like everybody else, i have to make compromises to ensure that my relationship doesnt fizzle just because of made up anniversaries. it seems like i am trying to cover up somebody's lack of holiday awareness but i guess i am just protecting myself from being hurt with a menial situation such as this. i guess i am the type of person who tries to look at the broader picture and not just the small imperfections.

in retrospect to the start of all this spillage, many guys misunderstand what the meaning of anniversaries to women. i do believe that many independent woman like me doesnt care for the material gift that many guys assume makes a woman happy in this awkward day. i dont even care for partying or dining out. the mere presence of the person and the acknowledgement that he is happy to have met me in this made up holiday is enough. the presence and the hug was present i can give you that but when you look me in the eye and go on with your usual routine without any acknowledgement of the aforementioned event, it takes away all the excitement. i admit, it is very shallow but it is one of those things that guys have to put up with women. it is a once a year event. one sentence is enough to make the day a hell a lot better. and then we can go on with our usual routine again.

it makes me think what is right and what is wrong. it is a tradition and yet our relationship is not traditional in any way. but somehow i like to be acknowledged verbally as a special person (like special fred) even though i know subconsciously that i am being loved and is beign treated special everyday. damn, now it sounds like it is my fault...oh well...i guess i am done talking coz i am losing my own battle...ha ha ha! schizophrenic ideations!

Posted by nixinne :: 1:28 PM :: 0 Comments:

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who invented anniversaries anyway?

Current mood: pissed off

what makes a day special and want to celebrate it every year?

women unfortunately have the knack for making every day a holiday. cookie day, spring cleaning day, pms day, birthday, athletic day, sick day, christmas day, anniversary day...damn, i bet it's women fault that we have all those holidays.

i am not mad that we have national holidays or birthdays because that is a valid excuse not to go to work. but for heaven and hells sake! why anniversaries? it very unfortunate of me, a female, who is trapped into the tradition of making up anniversary date and trying to shove it into somebody's ass.

now, i am very much obliged to get mad if the date is ignored. and it is currently getting ignored. and i am getting really pissed.

but you know what? i dont have anybody else to blame but tradition and society because if it werent initiated then i wont be in this dilemma. but if i am to think like a real woman, maybe i should just get mad at the person and not the system. what the heck...i will just evaporate into thin air and get it over and done with. if it is not important to the other person, i might as well, drop the subject, go on to my usual daily routine and sleep the day away.

i hate being pissed but i am not going to sulk and ruin my day just because of it so, to hell with everybody! bleh!

Posted by nixinne :: 8:08 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 7, 2006

manila...here we come!!!

Current mood: excited

i cannot wait!

we just got our flight itineraries to the philippines! i'm so excited and i just cant hide it!!!!

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Date: May 14 Flight: NW 466

Departs: Atlanta-Hartsfield Int'l, GA (ATL) at 12:29PM

Arrives: Detroit-Wayne County Int'l, MI (DTW) at 2:26PM

Class of Service: Economy Class (V) Seat: 23-A, 23-B

Flight Duration: 1 hour 57 minutes Miles: 605

Meal Service: None Aircraft: McDonnell Douglas DC9-50

Note: Flight Status posted day before departure

Note: 45 Minute check-in required in Atlanta



Date: May 14 Flight: NW 71

Departs: Detroit-Wayne County Int'l, MI (DTW) at 3:55PM

Arrives: Nagoya, Japan (NGO) at 6:15PM on May 15

Class of Service: Economy Class (V) Seat: 60-C, 60-B

Flight Duration: 13 hours 20 minutes Miles: 6,510

Meal Service: Dinner Aircraft: Boeing 747-400

Note: Flight Status posted day before departure



Date: May 15 Flight: NW 71

Departs: Nagoya, Japan (NGO) at 7:45PM

Arrives: Manila-Int'l, Philippines (MNL) at 10:50PM

Class of Service: Economy Class (V) Seat: 60-C, 60-B

Flight Duration: 4 hours 5 minutes Miles: 1,741

Meal Service: Dinner Aircraft: Boeing 747-400

Note: Flight Status posted day before departure

Note: Check-in at Centrair International Airport



Date: June 2 Flight: NW 20

Departs: Manila-Int'l, Philippines (MNL) at 8:00AM

Arrives: Tokyo-Narita, Japan (NRT) at 1:25PM

Class of Service: Economy Class (V) Seat: 52-C, 52-B

Flight Duration: 4 hours 25 minutes Miles: 1,879

Meal Service: Breakfast Aircraft: Boeing 747-400

Note: Flight Status posted day before departure



Date: June 2 Flight: NW 20

Departs: Tokyo-Narita, Japan (NRT) at 3:30PM

Arrives: Minneapolis/St. Paul-Int'l, MN (MSP) at 12:30PM

Class of Service: Economy Class (V) Seat: 52-C, 52-B

Flight Duration: 11 hours Miles: 5,953

Meal Service: Dinner Aircraft: Boeing 747-400

Note: Flight Status posted day before departure



Date: June 2 Flight: NW 1434

Departs: Minneapolis/St. Paul-Int'l, MN (MSP) at 4:16PM

Arrives: Atlanta-Hartsfield Int'l, GA (ATL) at 7:47PM

Class of Service: Economy Class (V) Seat: 14-D, 14-E

Flight Duration: 2 hours 31 minutes Miles: 908

Meal Service: Snack Box ($3) Aircraft: Airbus A320

Note: Flight Status posted day before departure

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too many plans!!! but first and foremost...i need to hug my son!!!

Posted by nixinne :: 3:12 PM :: 0 Comments:

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travel planning disasters

Current mood: sleepy

its 1130 in the morning. i havent had sleep since yesterday afternoon. i am still trying to find us cheap flights to the philippines. so far, i have talked to 4 travel agents, looked at 10 different sites, talkedto 4 friends and still i cant decide which flight to take.

they are all over a grand for each person. i guess i picked the wrong dates to go home because everybody is telling me that it is peak season for manila travel on may. i cannot NOT go. i havent seen my son for 5 years now. and this is my only time to go.

i am just waiting for mike to come home so we can buy our tickets today.

Posted by nixinne :: 11:30 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 6, 2006

corn-a-lot

we have an unofficial new dog.

her name is corn-a lot. a name hybrid of "cornhole and chocolate". well, i live with two crazy guys who wanted to name the pup "cornhole" and since his color looks like chocolate, i wanted to name him as such. we came to an agreement that we call this brown labrador "corn-a-lot".

she usually plays with us at the back porch while we are hanging out drinking beer or just chillin. she usually likes to play with mike who claims who doesnt like animals but still pets the darn pup. mark has a girlfriend who has a dog named buddy (jamie's dog), so he definitely likes dogs.. i like dogs a lot. i actually wanted to have one but since i travel a lot i couldnt do it. darn. i dont even have a car of my own.

anyway, shes an unofficial pet of ours. he came barking infrnt of the back door last night and scratching like she wants to get in. mark opened the door and tried to tell her to go home but she was trying to get in the house. so i put on my robe, went outside with cornalot, gave her some of buddy's scooby snacks and persuaded her to go home. while me and her are standing at the top of the stairs, mark and mike went out to see whats happening. but she was a great dog! mark and mike are smitten by her cute and cuddly efforts to get attention. i went inside and got some food and water for her to drink. she was being a very good girl. so mark let her go in "for a while" while we are still hanging out, having a mind set that she will want to go home later. but she was just being so cute, funny and smart puppy. she know a lot of stuff like, rolling, and sitting and laying down. we tried opening the door for her if she wanted to go home but she stayed in the kitchen while all of us are in the floor petting her. se finally was exhausted and took a little nap while we are petting her. mark took pity on her because it was so cold last night. he got buddy's make shift bed and put it in the kitchen. we all finally had to go to bed hoping that she wouldnt poop or pee or yelp. i was really hoping she wouldnt so mark and mike would let me keep her for the night. we were all like very concerned adults fro a kid coz when we finaally had to close the kitchen, me and mark are still by the door telling cornalot to stay on her bed. we couldnt leave! and i thought it was just me and mark. i saw mike by the living room peeking over the little window to see what cornalot will do. we turned off the light and mike finally told me that cornalot went to her bed and settled in for the night.

i woke up this morning and went to the kitchen to see if cornalot made a mess but she was patiently sitting on her bed, waiting for somebody to come and play with her. she didnt make any mess at all. i gave her some breakfast and shes been in and out of the house already. shes actually sitting here beside me while i m typing this blog. i kept on trying to open the door for her just in case she wants to go home but she just comes right back. i think mike and mark will have a little talk with the owners tomorrow. mark said if they cant take care of their puppy, he will likely adopt her.

i wanted to adopt her myself. but since i dont have a house of my own or a car of my own, i really cant say or do anything just yet...




Posted by nixinne :: 4:41 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Apr 3, 2006

tuna & shrimp stir fry disaster

i was trying to fix dinner by cooking tuna & shrimp stir fry while taltking to my best friend, chico. it was a disaster! yech, we might need to just order something out. not good...not good at all...

i shouldve just done some chopsuey instead...

i miss my friends in connecticut. they all had fun last night. joy called me and asked me about jay ar's last name to check if he had his board exam in the philippines. she was also talking about marions interaction with jay ar. then chico also reminded me of jay ar today. thats funny. i dont even have anything to feel for him. im perfectly happy right now i guess.

sucks that we dont have a decent dinner tonight...

Posted by nixinne :: 6:33 PM :: 0 Comments:

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the ride that bruised my bum

Current mood: drained

this past weekend was a blast. despite the aching muscles and bruised bum, i survived my very first long ass bike ride.

we went to abingdon, va last saturday to camp at riverside campground. that place was cool! we got to camp out beside a riverback and slept with the sweet sound of the flowing river. we picked campground #5 (we were supposed to get #14 but the people in front of the cashier line took it before we did- Blast!) and set our tents up before going to town to get some decent dinner. mike, jamie and i opted for their pasta while mark indulged on a juicy steak. the food was great! no hairs, no spit of any sort. lol.

we went back to our campsite, started a fire and enjoyed the bonding with nature. we forgot batteries so we were groping in the dark until we got the fire going. we ate smores, roasted marshmallows, drank wine, listened to music and just enjoyed the whole camp experience.

it was pretty damp the next day. mark started to boil water for "rations" but mike forgot the rations at home! oh well, we just went to a gas station and got our breakfast "samiches". we went to the shuttle/bike shop to pick up jamie's bike. while we were there, i also bought a virginia creepers trail cap and a hoopty bag.

i prepared my self by making sure my ipod is working, granola bars in my hoopty bag, lemon water to drink, and clothes to change to if it gets hot. we were all ready to go! we rode a van with a bike tow and drove up to white top mountain where we would start our bike ride. it was pretty chilly when we arrived at the trail but it was ok because the sun was shining.

the first 15 miles was very easy with its downhill ride. we never even had a chance to actually use our pedals on those first few miles. i only got freaked out with a few steep sides so i kept on slowing down once in a while. i am afraid of heights and i was afraid to bail. anyway, ti became a flat surface after that and eventually started to use our pedals like we were supposed to in a bike ride. the town of damascus came but we never found the restaurant that we saw earlier on our drive up so we continued to ride.after a few milse, i decided to pass mark and jamie while they were stopped because i was always behind and i thought it would get me some distance before they catch up on me again. i was a slow poke. not only because my bum was starting to hurt but also my thighs was getting sore too. mike, i guess, decided to ride along with me and we continued on until i got really thirsty. we decided to wait fro mark and jamie while eating a granola bar. but, few other people passed us and there wasnt a sign of those two. so we decided to continue on slowly and stopping frequently until they catch up. we stopped under a bridge, beside a meadow full of cows, and some random road before mike's bike seat gave away. he was biking standing up for a few miles until we came to old alvarado sation were other bikers were eating and resting. he got to fix his bike with a borrowed allen wrench(?) and i ate french fries while askign people who came after us about mark and jamie. we got the story from other bikers and waited for them to arrive. they came a few minutes later and decided to stay and wait fro the shuttle ride, while mike & i headed on to finish the trail. we only had 8 or so miles to finish the trail and i thought that was going to be easy. at first it was flat dirt road then it eventually became a little bit steeper. by this time i had to distract myself from remembering how sore my bum and my thighs were. we had to stop a few times on benches so i can ride again. ouch, ouch, ouch!

we finally saw our 1 mile mark, took a picture and continued to frinish the trail. we rode side by side up to the last section of the trail! mark and jamie was waiting for us at the end. we took pictures of our victory ride and went on to find a place to eat. (logans restaurant)

mark drove home and into the eye of the storm. oh boy! was that scary or what! everybody was stopped on the side of the road and we were almost blown to one side too. but our master driver, got us out of there and was home at around 2230.

i had a goodnight sleep after watching an episode of battlestar galactica.

nope, i guess i passed out. and my bum still hurts..

Posted by nixinne :: 8:31 AM :: 0 Comments:

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